Dear God,
My prayer for 2012 is for
A fat bank account & a thin body.
Please don’t mix these up like you did last year.
AMEN!

Cheers

Don’t be too serious with life! Loosen up and smile.

See below humor and relax. Remember to smile!

Life Insurance
A contract that keeps you poor all your life
so that you can die Rich.

Nurse:
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills .

Marriage
It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters…

Divorce
Future tense of Marriage.

Tears
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water power…

Lecture
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either” .

Conference
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary
A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father
A banker provided by nature.

Criminal
A person no different from the rest
….except that he/she got caught.

Boss
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician
One who shakes your hand before elections and
your Confidence after .

DOCTOR
A person who holds your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic
Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile
A curve that can set a lot of things straight .

Office
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience
The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb
An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher
A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise.

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